Dear Apple Customer Services...

If you want me to have my Mac's serial number to hand when I call you, it might be an idea to say so in your warranty documentation, instead of just telling me to have my order number. Since you only accept calls between 8 and 6 Monday to Friday, it's possible - and I realise this might come as a shock to you, as it seems to do to most of the customer service and delivery industry - that not everyone will be sitting in front of their home computer when they call, due to that pesky working-for-a-living habit some of us have.

Also, since you are Apple, high priests of the Internet revolution, why can I only contact you by telephone or snail mail? Ever heard of email? The Queen's been doing it for years, and she's 81 you know...